Holding On
by nothin' special
Summary: Santana had to leave Lima because of her mom's health. She finds herself in New York with very few people around her, trying her best to hold on to what really matters to ger. Lettin' go sequel.
1. Chapter 1

**Alright peeps! This is it. First chapter is finally up. Enjoy and review!**

Chapter 1

**Santana's P.O.V**

The bell rang and my head shot up, realizing the class had ended. I was too caught up in my work to even realize it. Huh, when did I become a good student? I looked up and around and noticed that most of the students were already up and ready to leave, all except Sam. He was looking at me with a small smirk tugging at his huge lips.

"Miss Lopez, I'd like a word." We both turned around when we heard my name being called. He looked at me, his smirk growing even more and made a face to tell me I was in trouble. I politely flipped him off and he burst out laughing. He pointed towards the door to let me know he'd wait outside for me and I nodded at him while making my way to the teacher's desk.

I stopped at the desk in front of hers and leaned into it. "What's up miss, H?" I asked her. Not being my normal bitchy self was something I was still something I was getting used to. I needed good grades and I needed to do well at this school and I realized this was the best way to go. College was nothing like high school.

Miss Holiday looked up and smiled at me. She handed me a piece of paper and I recognized my handwriting. I looked up from the paper to the blonde teacher. She was walking towards the door. She closed it and made her way back to her desk but instead of sitting on her chair she hopped in and sat on the desk.

"This," She said while pointing at the paper, "Is really good work, Santana." I looked at her but didn't say anything, sensing a big 'but' was coming. "I'm just not sure I totally get it." She said, smiling at me.

Holly Holiday was definitely one of the best teachers at NYU. She was loved of pretty much every student. She was just awesome. "There's nothing to get, Miss H." I admitted in a soft tone. It was a lie, but she didn't need to know that.

Her eyes never left mine as she got off the desk to stand right in front of me. "Okay then." She smiled at me. "How do you feel about performing it?" She asked me and my eyes got wide.

"Uh, with all due respect, this is a writing class. Besides, I haven't sung in front of anybody since high school." I told my teacher as if it could explain everything.

She nodded. "Santana you have come a long way in those past few months. The things you keep to yourself, that you won't let nobody in on them are the reason those lyrics are so good. Don't get me wrong, as a teacher this should be enough, but we both know I'm not just your teacher anymore." She said softly putting her hand on my shoulder. "You'll have to let someone in someday, Santana."

"Someday." I admitted. She smiled at me but let it go. "Will I see you tonight?" I asked her. And just like that, I knew that conversation was over.

"Of course, it's my bar after all." Miss Holiday smiled at me. "Now go!" She said as she pointed to the door. A small smile found its way to my lips and I walked out of the class to find Sam leaning against a locker waiting for me.

"About time." He said with a smirk and I knew he was just kidding around. Beside Miss Holiday, Sam was the only person I could talk to. He knew everything that had happened in the last few years and he was there for me, always listening and never pushing it. He was like the big brother I never had, except he was my age.

"Everything okay?" Sam asked me.

"Yeah, she just wanted to talk to me about some stuff." I told him, not really getting into any details. Sam was a friend, but letting people had never been easy for me. "Actually she wanted me to perform." I admitted.

"That'd be so cool!" He exclaimed, "We could totally jam together!"

"Not gonna happen, trouty mouth." I shook my head.

We started walking towards the exit when he put his hand on my shoulder, stopping me from walking. "Oh my god!" He exclaimed.

"What?" I looked around to see what caused his outburst.

"I just remembered what tomorrow is." He smiled at me. "You'll get to see your girl!" He almost shouted. That time the smile that found its way to my lips was genuine.

"Yeah, finally." I whispered.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

**Santana's P.O.V**

Six hours. That's how much time I had to go through. At least I would be working. I was walking through the streets of New York and I took a moment to stop and just admire everything. It really was a nice city. The air was beginning to get cooler but not to the point where coats were necessary. It was so different from L.A or Lima but this was my home for now.

Jake, the doorman opened the door for me and I nodded my thanks and made my way inside the bar. It was still early for a Friday night but there were a lot of people already.

"Hey sweet cheeks." I turned my head to find Miss H standing right next to me.

"Hey Miss H." I greeted her.

She scoffed. "How many times will I have to tell you, Santana? Please call me Holly outside of school. Miss H makes me feel old."

Right I was still working on that. It was so weird at first seeing a teacher outside of school. To be completely honest, I was still getting used to it.

"Excited about tomorrow?" Holly asked me a soft smile tugging at her lips.

"You have no idea." I confessed. "It's been two months, I miss her like crazy." I admitted in a sad voice. Damn has it already been that long?

"I'm sure she misses you too." Holly put her hand on my shoulder and smiled at me. "Now get to work, it's getting busy!" She pointed to the bar and I nodded. I made my way to the bar and greeted Matt who was the other barman for the night.

Working at a bar and being underage was a little bit ironic. But I really needed this. Holly was kind enough to offer me a job when I needed one and I promised her I wouldn't let her down. Clients didn't need to know I was underage. I never drank anything but water when I was working and I could always feel Holly's eyes on me a couple of times a night. She was probably just making sure I was keeping my part of the deal and after everything we've been through, I guess I have to say I can't really blame her.

It was eleven before I even knew it and Matt nudged me. I had a fifteen minute break and four hours to go through before taking a night train. I was excited and nervous. I missed her so much. I pointed at the backdoor to let Matt know I would be outside and he nodded as he walked to the other side of the bar to another client. I grabbed my leather jacket before walking to the back door I felt my phone vibrate in my pockets. I stopped walking to be able to put it out of my jeans and I frowned when I read 'unknown' on the caller id. Who would be calling me that late?

I walked faster to the back door to be able to answer my phone. I unlocked my phone with my thumb just as I pushed the back door open.

"Hello?"

"Hello, Santana." The sound of her voice made me stop walking. "Are you still at work?" She asked me.

"Yes, I am." I told her. "I'll be on the night train, right after work."

"Unfortunately, that won't be necessary." She said a voice so cold, my grip on the phone tightened.

"What do you mean?" I asked her, trying my best to keep my voice stable. Knowing her, it would only make things worse.

"I mean something came up and I have to leave town for a couple of days." She said like she was talking to a five years old kid who wouldn't understand anything.

"Abuela, you can't be serious!" I raised my voice.

"I will not tolerate that kind of tone, Santana." She warned me.

"I haven't seen her in two months! I barely even saw her in the past two years!" I ignore what she had just told me.

"I'll give you a couple of days to calm down. Good night, Santana." And just like that the line went dead. I took my phone away from my ear and kept it in my hand, trying to understand what had just happened.

Fighting the urge to throw my phone against the brick wall I took a deep breath. I needed to calm down and fast. I grabbed my pack of cigarette from the inside pocket of my leather jacket and lit one, letting the smoke go in the cool night.

Fuck this, I thought before throwing the cigarette on the floor and walked by to the bar. I took a glass and the nearest bottle. Just as I was about to pour the liquor in the glass a hand stopped me. I looked up to find Holly right next to me.

"And what exactly do you think you're doing?" She asked me. Her voice was cold.

"What does it look like?" I shot right back at her.

"In my office, Santana. Now!" She walked ahead of me and the tone she used didn't leave any place for arguments. I set the bottle down and followed her.

When I reached her office, she was standing right by the door, holding it open. I took a few steps inside and I cringed when I heard the voice slamming behind me.

"What the hell is wrong with you?!" Holly asked me. Her voice was cold but her eyes were full of worry. I didn't say anything and she took that as a sign to continue. "You have been doing so well lately, Santana. Do you remember what happened three months ago?" I flinched at the memory. "Do you really want to go back to _that_?!" I closed my eyes to keep my emotions in check. "Say something!"

"She won't let me see her, okay?!" I yelled right back at her and her eyes got wide.

"What?" All the anger in her voice was gone by now.

"My grandmother won't even let me see my own sister! What the fuck am I supposed to do now?!" I let myself fall in a chair in front of Holly's desks and hid my face in my hands.

"Drinking away the problems won't make them go away, Santana." She said in a soft tone and the tears burning my eyes were getting harder to keep in check.

"I'll call Sam. I don't want you to be alone tonight." She said grabbing my hands away from my face. I nodded; not being able to find anything to say.

All the happiness I felt a couple of hours prior was gone, leaving the empty feeling I was so familiar with. I closed my eyes and couldn't help but wonder how the hell it came to this.

**A/N I know most of you probably don't understand anything, but trust me, everything will soon make sense. I just want to say thanks for all the reviews, the favorites and the alerts I've received for the first chapter. You guys are awesome!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N And I'm back for the third chapter. I'm sorry it took longer than usual. Thank you for the alerts, the reviews and the favorites. Enjoy!**

**Chapter 3**

**Santana's P.O.V**

Sam kept glancing at me while he drove me home. I knew he was worried but I guess at this point I was just annoyed with pretty much everything. I let my forehead rest against the window and the coolness of it made me relax just a bit.

"Are you okay?" He asked me after some more silence.

I scoffed. Oh yeah bitchy mcbitch was back in town. "You did not just ask me that." I said closing my eyes.

"I'm just worried about you." He admitted. My eyes shot open and I finally looked at him.

"I can take care of myself. I've been doing it for the past two years and I'm perfectly fine." I snapped at him.

Sam must have had hit the brakes because the car stopped abruptly. Being in New York, I was surprised it didn't cause an accident. But then again we were in the middle of the night.

"You mean just like you took care of yourself three months ago?" He snapped right back at me and my eyes got wide. He did not just go there.

"What did you just say?" I narrowed my eyes at him.

"You heard me." He mirrored my actions. "Do you have any idea how badly you scared us that night?" I knew it was a rhetorical question. Guilt sunk in. I opened my mouth to say something but he beat me to it.

"I can't even begin to imagine what you're going through. Or how shitty you must be feeling right now. But I'm your friend and if you think I'm just going to let you deal with this on your own, you're sadly mistaken. I've made that mistake once; I'm not going to do it again."

I took full responsibility for what had happened that night. Still I had this feeling in my gut that kept telling me he felt responsible for it and his sudden outburst had just confirm it. Didn't I feel like a bitch now?

"Sam." My voice had softened quite a bit but it was still shaking.

"I'll just drive you home." He started the car once more and that time the ride was nothing but silent. And not the good kind of silence.

About ten minutes later, Sam stopped the car in the parking of my building. He turned the ignition off but made no effort to move. I was going to have to be the one to talk.

"Sam, look." I started but stopped right after that. I didn't even know what I was trying to say. "Do you want to come up?" I asked him and he nodded. We silently made our way out of the parking and to my apartment.

I unlocked the door and stepped right in, leaving the door open for him to follow me. I threw my keys on the small table right beside the door and made my way to the couch. I figured having that kind of talk would be easier if we were sitting comfortably.

I heard the door close and footsteps coming near me but I couldn't find it in me to look at him in the eyes. I fucked up, once again.

Sam walked to me and instead of sitting right next to me he decided to sit on the table right in front of the couch so we were now face to face. Eye contact wasn't something that came easily to me, yet I understood why he was forcing it right now.

"You can't go back there, San. You just can't." I closed my eyes when I heard him saying my name like that. Nobody called me like that since _her_. The feeling became overwhelming. In the past two years I had done everything I could to stop myself from thinking about her and now I felt stupid for not being able to stop myself. I found myself wondering what she looked like since I last seen her, if she was happy, where she was. All these questions remained without answers. It was a lot simpler this way.

I shook my head and those thoughts away and opened my eyes to found Sam looking right back at me. "It was just a moment of weakness." I confessed.

His mouth fell open and he blinked a couple of times. "That's what you said three months ago, Santana. Those were your exact words!" He exclaimed.

"I didn't mean it like that!" I shot back. "Do you have any idea what it's like to not be able to see my own sister?! My own grandmother is keeping her from me. ME! And she's all I have left in this fucking world!" I stood up. The movement was so sudden it caused Sam to flinch backwards. "So you tell me what the fuck am I supposed to do now?!" I almost yelled in Sam's face and before I knew it I had let myself fall down on the couch with tears running down my face.

Sam moved from his place and sat next to me and pulled me into his arms, holding me tightly against him. I was sobbing and holding on to him for dear life. He just kept whispering in my ear 'we'll find a way'.

* * *

A noise made me open my eyes. I blinked a couple of times and noticed I was now in my bed. I must have fallen asleep. The noise kept on going and I realized it was my phone. I reached out for it and moved my thumb to answer the call.

"Hello?" My voice was thick with sleep and I cleared my throat.

"Sanny?" My breath caught in my throat and I tears were already forming in my eyes.

"Angie?" I asked her. I couldn't believe it.

"Sanny, when are you coming home? I miss you." I knew she was being brave just like she always was and was keeping herself from crying.

"Soon baby girl, soon." I tried to convince her. Who the hell was I kidding? I couldn't even convince myself.

"I don't like being away from you." She admitted in a whisper.

"I don't like it either." I matched her tone. I heard a whisper in the background and I instantly knew who it was. My blood ran cold and I waited for Angie to talk to me again.

"I have to go to school now." Angie said in a low voice. "Promise me you'll come home soon?" She asked me.

"I promise I'll try." I whispered. We said our goodbyes and I let the phone fall down as I fell backwards on my bed too. I hid my face in my hands as I wondered how the hell I was supposed to keep that kind of promise.

**A/N I know it's been pretty dark for the first few chapters but it needs to be. Brittany is coming back in the next chapter. Let me know what you thought of the chapter!**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N I'm sorry for the lack of updates lately. Work has really been kicking my ass but since Glee starts back tonight, I had to update, I just had to. Thanks again for the reviews, the alerts and the followers.**

**Chapter 4**

**Brittany's P.O.V**

"Quinn, are you sure we're going the right way?" I asked the shorter blonde walking a few steps ahead of me as I tried to read the name of the street we were walking on.

She stopped walking and turned around to face me, a tired smile on her face. "Britt, I know you're still not used to the city but it's getting ridiculous." She smile turned into a smirk. "Just follow me; I think I can walk us back to the apartment." Quinn walked to me and linked our arms together. She started walking again and decided to follow her quietly.

I still had trouble realizing I got that scholarship. I had to find a way to get out my head on my senior year of high school and I found that keeping busy with school work was doing just that. Quinn and I grew even closer together and I was really grateful that she turned down Yale to come here with me.

Even Glee wasn't the same. At least not to me.

I was shaken out of my thoughts when Quinn nudged me. I turned to look at her only to find her looking at me with worried eyes and a sad smile. "You're doing it again." She whispered.

I didn't even realize we had stopped at a red light. It was some sort of silent agreement between Quinn and I. Whenever she'd noticed I was lost in my thoughts she'd work me out of it. I knew she was worried about me. Hell everybody was especially for my senior year, but I really was doing okay.

"I'm never going to get use to the amount of cabs in this city." I told Quinn and she just laughed with me.

The light turned green and we started walking again. "You're really not the average city girl." She said as she shook her head.

I laughed with her. "I know, I'm way better." I said, winking at her.

We kept on walking for a little while when I noticed the sign hanging above a door. It was probably a bar or a small club. My sudden stop made Quinn stop too and she looked at me, waiting for the reason we were no longer walking. I read the sign once and once more and couldn't hold back the chuckles.

I started walking again and Quinn just looked at me, expecting me to say something. "Who the hell names their bar _Hola Classe!_?" The simple thought of it made me chuckle again, leaving Quinn to look at me and smiling at my randomness.

"OH!" Quinn exclaimed when someone bumped into her. She took a few steps back with the force of the impact, taking me with her.

"I'm so sorry." We both looked up to see a blonde guy probably our age. He looked out of breath just like he had been running, "I'm sorry, I'm late, I wasn't looking where I was going and I-"

"You're babbling." Quinn finished for him.

"I'm sorry." He blushed. "Are you okay?" He asked Quinn and she nodded.

"You better go, don't want you to be even later." She finished with a wink and the blonde guy blushed again. He nodded and finally walked by us and turned around to look at Quinn once again. I waited until he disappeared behind a corner and by then I couldn't hold back the laughs.

"Look at you! All flirty and shit!" I exclaimed, making Quinn blush.

"It was innocent!" She said as she tried to defend herself.

"Not so sure it's that innocent, when the guy looks like he could be your brother!"

"Shut up!" She said as she slapped my arm.

We reached our apartment still laughing. Right before opening the door Quinn stopped and turned around to face me. "You have no idea how nice it is to hear you laugh like that again." She said softly and I could see she was working hard to keep her voice even.

"I'm getting there." I confessed with a small smile. Quinn pulled me into a hug and held me tightly to her as she kept whispering in my ear that everything would be okay.

**A/N Reviews?**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N So I just noticed the last few chapters were short. Like really short. I hope this one makes up for it.**

**Chapter 5**

**Sam's P.O.V**

"Open mic night?" Santana looked at Holly to see if she was kidding. She was serious. Holly Holliday was actually serious about something. The idea sounded crazy to me too. At first. Santana looked at me and I knew I was smiling like a crazy person. "You're into this nonsense too?" She asked me, frowning,

My smile faded away a bit. "Just think about it, girl. Semester is almost over. Students will be looking for a place to hang out. This is perfect." Santana looked from me to Holly to see if we were really serious. She must have realized we really were because she let out a dramatic sigh before turning to me once again.

"Alright, whatever! But I'm telling you this once and only once." She stopped to point at us. "I. Am. Not. Singing. Got it?" I looked at Holly and we both nodded. Santana grabbed her back from the table right behind her and turned to face us. "Do whatever you want to do. I have to get to class." Just like the she starting walking towards the door without turning around or waiting for someone to say goodbye to her as well.

"How is she?" Holly's voice made me turn around to face her. She looked concerned and worried and I knew she really was.

"She's trying so hard." I told her and walked to the bar to sit on a stool. Holly walked behind the bar and started to clean up. "I'm pissed off just to see how everything turned out. I can't even begin to imagine how pissed off she must be." I admitted. "And there's nothing I can do about any of it." I whispered. I hated feeling that helpless.

"Does she ever talk to you about high school?" Holly asked me.

I took a moment to think about it. "Never. The only thing I know is at some point she used to sing. Why?"

"It's high school." Holly shrugged. "A lot can happen in four years. I'm just wondering if there's a reason she never talks about it." I nodded. It made sense.

"I better go; I have to make sure we have a band for open mic night." I got up from my stool.

"You better be on that stage, dude!" Holly said, pointing a finger at me.

I chuckled. "I'll think about it." I winked at her to let her know I was kidding.

* * *

**Santana's P.O.V**

Open mic night? Really? I was walking towards the campus and I couldn't help but wonder where the hell that idea came from. Then again it was Holly's idea so I knew I was better off not knowing where it came from. I was just hoping they would keep their word and leave me alone with the singing.

Walking in New York in the fall was one of my favorite things ever. Walking in New York Period. There were so many people but I felt all alone. Nobody cared about me when I was walking those streets. They were too busy with their own lives.

I was grateful for Sam and Holly. But sometimes, like right now I just wanted to be alone. I needed time to deal with everything but their constant need to babysit me kept me from it. I guess they were just scared of what I could do if I got really upset. After what I did last time, I can't say I really blame them.

Music was still the only thing that made sense to me. No matter what the song I was listening to I could relate to it. It helped when I had so much trouble figuring out exactly what I was feeling because of everything. Pretty much all of the songs I was listening to lately made me thing of Angie. I knew I had to find a way to go see her soon. She was the only thing really keeping me sane.

The light turned red just as I was about to cross the street. I waited and looked at the cars that drove in front of me. A movement caught my eyes and I turned my head to have a better view. I felt my eyes go wide at the same time I felt like someone just had punched me in the stomach. Right next to me, on the other side of the street stood two blondes woman. It felt like a blast from the past. I shook my head. My mind was playing games on me.

It was official; I was going crazy.

**Probably not the way you expected this chapter to end? I just had to. A little heads up…You do not want to miss next chapter :) **  
**Review?**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N It's been raining ever since I got up. It's getting depressing. I made time for a second update today. Hope you guys will enjoy this one!**

**Chapter 6  
Santana's P.O.V**

Two weeks later it was finally open mic night. Suddenly it didn't feel right. I didn't want to go. Sam and Holly of course told me I had to be there. They didn't even dare to mention me performing ever since I told them I wouldn't do it two weeks prior and I was grateful for that. Sam seemed more concerned lately and I couldn't help but wonder why. I shook my head, trying to push those thoughts away. I had enough to worry about as it was, I didn't need to get crazy.

Angie had called me a couple of times over the past two weeks. I didn't like that she was going behind my abuela's back but I was glad I got to talk to her. I only had a few days left of school before thanksgiving and I was really hoping I'd get to see my sister.

"Excited about tonight?" Sam asked me as soon as I came into the bar. I looked at him and made my way behind the bar without answering. "That excited huh?" he said, smiling at me, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

"I just hope the people who signed up have some kind of talent. I don't think I could handle the whole night if they all suck." I admitted. Holly had decided that I could be trusted with alcohol again so I had a whole shift behind the bar that night.

"They won't suck. I know at least one of them is awesome." He told me, full of himself. I raised an eyebrow at him and couldn't help the smirk that form on my lips.

"Whatever you say." I shot right back, my voice with the same sarcasm as his.

"Santana, great you're already here." I voice came from beside me and I turned my head to see Holly walking towards Sam and I.

"Where else would I be?" I asked her and she ignored my comment.

"Are you ready for tonight?" She asked me.

"Ready as I'll ever be." I told her without missing a beat.

Holly stopped walking and looked at me. I don't know why but ever since I saw those two blondes on the street I had been kind of short with everybody. That's a lie, I knew exactly why. And I was in denial about it.

"Everything okay?" Holly asked me and I couldn't help but roll my eyes. I was so fed up with that question.

"Yes." I said sharply. "I just need some air."

"But you just got here." I heard Sam say as I walked by him and out of the front door. I needed to get my shit together before the clients came or I'd be screwed.

I walked down the few steps between the front door and the sidewalk and sat down. I put my head between my hands and took a deep breath as I tried to understand why everything came back. I had done everything in my power to keep me from thinking about Brittany and ever since those two blondes, pretty much everything reminded me of her. It was just too much to take.

"Are you okay, kid?" I heard Holly asked me and from the noise she made I figured she had sat down right next to me.

"I really wish everyone would stop asking me that." I told her, without moving.

"I'm just-"

"Worried about me, I know." I cut her off and lifted my head from my hands. "But I haven't given you or Sam or anybody else a reason to be. I'm not great, I know that, but I'm okay. And I can't help but feel like everybody's always watching my every move and babysitting me and I'm sick of it!" I stopped when I got out of breath.

I knew Holly was looking at me wide eyed. "Where is this coming from?" She asked me. I had no idea. I had just snapped at one of the two people I could count on in my life.

"I'm sorry." I whispered.

Holly nodded. "Come here." She whispered as she put her arm around my shoulders and pulled to her. I let my head rest on her shoulder and took a deep breath.

"Are you excited to meet Sam's girlfriend?" Holly asked. I snorted.

"She's not my girlfriend!" I heard Sam say from behind us and I couldn't help but snort again. Holly let go of my shoulders and got up. "We better get inside, bar opens in an hour. And just like that, my little outburst was forgotten.

* * *

"Thank you everyone for coming tonight!" Holly greeted the crowd. "Give a warm welcome to our first act of the night, Mister Sam Evans!" Everybody was clapping and cheering as I gave a client his drink. Sam came on the stage and stood right beside the piano and nodded at the band. The pianist started playing a few notes alone and the band came in soon after.

_Said sit down with me before you go  
That's the wrong thing I know  
But I don't know when I will see you again  
And it gets so lonely.._

_See you'd be foolish if you stayed here now_  
_Maybe if you leave we could work it out_  
_Cause I know the city only breaks you down_  
_And it gets you lonely_

_See it's gonna get lonely_

_Sam looked at me and I hold his gaze as he kept singing. I knew his song was for me._

_So you miss the feeling when you step outside_  
_Yeah your mind comes all untied_  
_And then you open up your eyes_  
_And you don't feel lonely_  
_  
See it feels bad now but it's gonna get better  
__See it feels bad now but it's gonna get better  
See it feels bad now but it's gonna get better_

_Yeah someday_

The whole band stopped playing except the pianist as Sam sang the last part of the song, without ever breaking eye contact with me.

_See it feels bad now but it's gonna get better  
See it feels bad now but it's gonna get better  
See it feels bad now but it's gonna get better_

The pianist played the last note and the crowd got crazy. Sam stood on the stage shyly and smiled at the crowd before winking at me and going off the stage.

Sam made his way towards me and I could tell he was nervous. I walked away from the bar and walked to him, meeting him halfway. "Thank you." I gave him a small smile before he pulled me in a tight hug.

"Replacing me already?" A voice came from behind him and he let go of me as he look up. The smile on his face was huge. He looked back to me and gestured me to turn around. "San, I want you to meet-"

"Quinn?" I said I soon as I turned around. Her once long blond hair was now short and she looked a lot more grown up without her cheerios uniform. Her eyes were wide and she got pale just like she had just seen a ghost.

"You know her?" I barely head Sam ask me. His voice sounded so far from me. I couldn't help but stare into Quinn's eyes as she did the same. A movement came from behind me and I broke eye contact with her.

And then blue eyes met brown eyes.

_SMACK._

I heard it more than I felt it. But I was pretty sure I had just been slapped.

**A/N Did you see that one coming? I hope this one makes up for the short chapters and the lack of updates. Please review :)**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N THIRD update in two days. I think that has to be a record for me. I'm posting this today because I'm not really sure when I'll have time to update. The next two weeks will be pretty busy so I thought I'd give you something to hold on to. Enjoy!**

**Chapter 7  
Santana's P.O.V**

I blinked a couple of times. Yes, I had just been slapped. By the girl I had only seen once since I was seventeen. I had just been slapped. By Brittany of all people! I was still too shocked to find anything to say. My eyes were wide; my mouth was hanging slightly open.

"What the hell is going on here?" I heard Holly say when she came within reaching distance. I saw her looking at me but my eyes wouldn't leave Brittany's. I guess I must have been in a state of shock. I was face to face with the person I'd never see again. And she just slapped me.

"Well?!" Holly was getting impatient. I could tell from the tone in her voice. By the looks of it, I was pretty sure nobody had answered her.

"Miss Holliday?" I heard Quinn ask.

"Quinn? Brittany?" Brittany snapped out of it when she heard her name. She turned her head towards Holly and I saw her eyes go wide once again. "What are you guys doing here?" I was waiting for the answer to that question but it never came.

"San, are you okay?" I heard Sam ask me but I was too shocked to find the words to answer him. He came to stand between Brittany and me but my eyes wouldn't leave hers. I couldn't focus on anything but her. "Santana!" He asked again, getting worried.

I finally nodded, but didn't look at him. I was looking at Brittany. Brittany and Quinn were looking at Holly. Holly was looking at Sam and he was looking at me. Brittany turned to look at me again and I felt like all the air had been stolen from my lungs.

"Are you gonna say something?" She asked me. Her voice was barely a whisper but I heard her. I looked at her, still not being able to find anything to say. She raised an eyebrow, silently asking me once again.

Quinn turned to face Brittany. "Come on, B. We better go." Brittany eyes shifted to Quinn and came back to me. She was waiting for me to say something. Anything. But nothing came out. Brittany took a step backwards and nodded to Quinn before turning around completely and walking towards the exit.

Quinn looked at me once again for a couple of seconds before turning to Sam. "I'll text you later." Sam nodded and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. "I'm sorry about all this, Miss H." Quinn said while gesturing to the circle we had seem to made. She looked at me one more time before turning around and walking quickly towards the exit.

Sam and Holly looked at me at the same time. They had the exact same look on their faces. "What the fuck was that?" Sam was the first one to ask me. I saw Holly looking at him and then back to me but didn't say anything. "Say something Damnit!" Sam pressured me. I narrowed my eyes at him.

"Sam!" Holly said before I could give him a piece of my mind. Sam lifted both his hand like he was giving up and turned around and disappeared in the crowd.

"I think you should go home." Holly told me in a soft voice. I looked at her and nodded, still not being able to find any words. She handed me a twenty dollar bill. "Take a cab home and text me when you get there. Understood?" I nodded and walked towards the exit.

I had my phone and my keys in my jeans pockets that was the only thing I needed at the moment. I got out of the bar and walked down the few steps and I froze. Quinn and Brittany were on the other side of the sidewalk waiting for a cab. One came and Quinn got in first. I didn't move an inch, convinced that any movement would catch their attention. Brittany's head snapped up right before she got in the cab and her eyes met mine instantly. Even from the distance I could see that she had frozen just like did a couple of seconds prior.

She seemed to be more in control of her own body because she shook herself out of it a few seconds later. Her eyes still on focused on me she let out a breath of air and got in the cab. From my spot on the sidewalk I watched the cab disappear in the night.

What kind of sick joke was that?

* * *

**Brittany's P.O.V**

Quinn had been staring at me ever since I sat down in the cab. She was trying to be subtle about it, but no matter how she tried, she could never pull it off. At all. She placed her hand on my knee; a movement that made me look at her.

"Are you okay?" She whispered to me. I guess she did not want to get the driver's attention and this was her attempt at having a semi private conversation.

"What do you think?" I whispered back. Her eyes got wide at my answer and I regret it instantly. "Sorry." I turned from her and let my head rest against the cold car window.

"Where did that slap came from anyway?" She asked me. I looked at her, not moving my head away from the door. She had a small smirk on her lips. "What happened to 'stop the violence Brittany' from high school?" She asked me again and I felt myself smile softly too.

"I don't know what came over me." I admitted. Before I could say anything else the cab had stopped and we had reached our destination. Quinn gave the money to the cab drive and got out of the cab and I silently follow her. We got into the apartment and Quinn sat down on the couch. I looked at her; I really didn't want to talk about it. I just want to forget about it. About everything.

I think Quinn realized it because she looked at me and got up from the couch. "You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to, B. But please don't keep everything bottled up."

"I just wish I could talk to her." I whispered softly. "But she won't listen." I admitted. I felt tears coming and I fought them back. I was done crying over this.

"Then make her listen." Quinn said softly. I looked at her and she just smiled at me. I had known Quinn for years. I knew she had a plan.

* * *

"Are you sure about this, Quinn?"

"Are you sure about this, Quinn?" I asked her. It was a week after the slap and I had made quite the effort to avoid Sam. I might have not been the brightest woman in the world but I was capable of putting two and two together. I knew Sam. Quinn had insisted we met a few weeks before open mic night. Seeing him act that way towards Santana I knew they were close together. I had a lot of explaining to do and I was avoiding it like the plague.

"Yes, B. Just trust me, everything will work out fine." She told me. It was open mic night again tonight. Santana was working that night but Sam wasn't.

It was just the shot I needed.

We walked inside the bar and we were met by Miss Holliday. I froze in my steps, making Quinn crash into me. Her eyes got wide as she saw Quinn and me.

Quinn came from behind me and I watched as they exchanged a look. Quinn had been keeping things from me. From what I could tell with just _that_ look Miss Holliday was part of her plan.

"You're ready for this, Brittany?" Miss H asked me and I nodded. "You're up next." She said as a matter of fact and gesture the stage. I guess the guy singing was almost done.

"I'll go find a place to sit." Quinn told me. "You can do this, B." She smiled at me and turned away from me. I took a moment to take a deep breath and braced myself. It was now our never.

Miss H got on the stage as the guy finished his song and motioned for me to join her. My eyes soon found Santana. She was behind the bar, busy with a client. "Give it up for our next performer, Brittany Pierce!" The crowed got wild and Santana's head snapped over to me, making me froze in my step.

I can do this.

I hold her gaze as the band started playing behind me. I saw her eyes move from the band when they started playing and came back to me when she thought I was about to start singing.

_You did not dare say a single word  
I did not dare ask for something more  
I've kept my questions secret deep inside  
But I wish I could have let you know about  
A time when I would have said_

_Wait, and please stay_  
_Did you mean to push me away?_  
_Please wait and just stay_  
_Did you want it to be this way?_

Santana was fighting back tears. Even from the distance I could see her chewing on her bottom lip. She really was listening to what I was trying to tell her.

_Would you want to know what I've been through?  
Through all this time... all this time  
Would you want to know I have missed you too  
And I have you on my mind  
And you've been and you will be a part of me  
That I can't fight  
And you've been forgiven for your silence  
All this time when I would have said_

_Wait, and please stay_  
_Did you mean to push me away?_  
_Please wait and just say_  
_Is there a way that could replace_  
_The times you never said_  
_How've you been?_  
_Do you need anything?_  
_Want you to know I'm here?_  
_Want you to feel me near?_

_Yeah...and I hope_  
_I hope that you will find your way_  
_Yeah...and I hope_  
_I hope there will be better days_

_Please wait, and just stay_  
_Did you mean to push me away?_  
_Please wait, and just stay_  
_Did you want it to be this way?_  
_Wait, please say_  
_Yeah, and I hope_  
_I hope that you will find your way_  
_Please wait, and just stay_  
_Wait, and I hope_  
_I hope there will be better days_

_Hey hey..._

_Wait_  
_Please stay_  
_Just stay_  
_Please wait_

The crowd got crazy again and I smiled at the warm welcome I got from them. I glanced in the crowd to find Quinn and she had tears in her eyes as well. She nodded at me as I got off the stage and made my way towards the bar.

Santana was busy with a client and she didn't see me get to the bar. I sat on the stool and waited for her to notice me. "Hey, what can I get-"She stopped talking when she noticed it was me and her eyes got wide.

"I think we need to talk." I told her and watched as different emotions flashed in her eyes. She broke the eye contact and focused on something on the bar. When she looked up at me her eyes were filled with tears. I had to fight the urge to reach out to her.

"I can't." She whispered and silent tears ran down her cheeks. She took one last glance at me before turning around and walking away from me for the second time in two years.

**A/N Longest chapter yet!  
I was supposed to end the chapter after the cab part but decided against it. **  
**Let me know what you thought about it.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8  
Brittany's P.O.V**

I should have gone after her. I knew I should have gone after her. But something stopped me. It was like I was fighting a lost cause. I watched her walk away from me and there was absolutely nothing I could do about it. I was on the verge to cry when I felt someone behind me. I took a deep breath and I was just about to turn around when a voice stopped me.

"It was her, wasn't it?" My eyes got wide and I turned around. Miss H was standing right in front of me, a sad smile tugging at her lips.

"What?" I asked her. I barely recognized my own voice.

"It was Santana. The reason you were so sad in senior year." She told me, keeping the same soft tone. It was like she was afraid I'd break if she was anything but soft with me.

"I-" I opened my mouth to say something but nothing came out. What was I supposed to say to that? Even Quinn didn't know the whole story between Santana and I because it was just too painful to even think about. I was sure I'd go crazy if I ever had to talk about it.

But there she was. A substitute teacher that I had for a few months a couple of years ago and she was looking right through me, right through all the walls I ever built up. She knew.

"I never understood. From what the other teachers told me you were always a bubbly student. But then I met you and it was like something had broken inside you. You were just so sad." Miss H explained, walking closer to me. I felt tears burning in my eyes. The way her eyes soften when she saw the tears told her she was right.

"Miss H, I can't." I found myself saying the exact same words Santana told me a couple of minutes ago.

"Please call me Holly. We're way past high school." Holly told me smiling at me. "Listen. Santana has a lot going on right now. It's not my place to tell about any of it."

I looked at her. The latina I used to know already had too much to deal with. Did something else happen? Holly's voice stopped the questions running in my head.

"She'll come around. You just need to give her some time." Holly said as if it was the easiest thing ever. Was two years not enough time? I found myself nodded at what had just been said. I didn't have the strength to try and figure out what could have happen. I was just worried about Santana. And I had been worried about her ever since she walked away from me two years ago.

**A/N Do not hate me! Crazy short I know. I just wanted to post a little something. I'm  
working on the next chapter and I'll try to post it as soon as possible. In the  
meanwhile, who's excited about the next episode?!**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N I know it's been forever. I just hope there are still people reading this. Please let me know if it's worth continuing.**

**Chapter 9  
Santana's P.O.V**

Four days. That's how long it's been since I've been slapped in the face. Four days of avoiding everyone. Four nights of tossing and turning without having a proper night of sleep. Needless to say I was feeling like shit and I looked like it too.

Sam had been texting me like crazy. I knew he was getting worried but I couldn't deal with all of that. Not yet. I was still going to class but I was the first one out of the class whenever the bell rung.

I needed to get out of the city. A crazy thought crossed my mind as I was getting back to my apartment. The more I thought about it, the less it seemed crazy. It was a chance I needed to take.

I entered my apartment and made my way to my room, not bothering to take off my shoes or my coat. I took my phone out of my jeans pocket before letting myself fall on my bed. I noticed a couple of new text messages, all from Sam and ignored them all. Brushing my thumb to unlock my phone, I chose the contacts icon and scrolled down until I found the name I was searching for. I tapped on it and brought the phone to my ear waiting for someone to pick up.

It rang three times before I heard her voice. _"Hello?"_

"Hi, it's me." I closed my eyes as the words left my mouth. I should have thought of something better. Of course she knows it's me.

_"Hello, Santana."_ Her voice seemed a little less cold than usual. Maybe it wasn't such a crazy idea after all. _"What can I do for you?"_ She asked me.

I took a deep breath. I could do this. "I was wondering if I could come visit this weekend. Classes are getting crazy, I could use some time away from it all." I waited a few seconds before deciding I needed to be honest. "And I miss my family." I said in a low tone but loud enough for her to hear.

_"Are you working Friday night?"_ My grandmother asked me. The moment the words left her mouth I sat up in bed. I was trying my hardest not to get my hopes up.

"I am not."

_"Take the train right after your class."_ I let out a breath of air I didn't know I was holding. _"And Santana?"_

"Yes?" I asked her.

_"Don't make me regret this." _

Just like that the line went dead. For the first time in four days I let myself smile.

* * *

I was able clear my head long enough to have a decent amount of sleep and when my alarm went off Friday morning I was up and ready to go. I took everything I'd need for the weekend and packed my bag. I looked at the clock and noticed I had enough time to stop for coffee before getting to class.

I walked out of my apartment and realized winter was coming fast. The air was cold and it smelled like snow. I put my IPhone on shuffle and took a deep breath and started walking towards the nearest Starbucks, a bit faster than I normally would.

I got in the shop and smiled at the familiar sent of coffee. I could hardly remember the last time I was here. I waited in line to place my order when I felt someone tap me on my shoulder. I took off one earplug and turned around and my eyes got wide.

"Hi." Quinn was standing right in front of me. She looked as uncomfortable as she was making me.

"Uh-hi." I finally managed to get out. "Are you here to slap me too?" I heard myself say before I could do anything to stop it.

Quinn's eyes narrowed a bit. "Can you really blame her?" She asked me.

"I don't have time for this." I scoffed and shook my head before turning around but Quinn reached out for my shoulder and spun me around to face her again.

"Then make time." Quinn whispered harshly. She looked like she didn't want to cause a scene and I had to say I was grateful for that. I placed my order and moved along the counter and waited for my drink.

"What the hell happened to you?" I heard Quinn ask me. I didn't see that one coming. I turned to face her and she was looking at me, expecting an answer.

The last thing I expected was my eyes to fill with tears.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

**Quinn's P.O.V**

I only had known Santana for a couple of months, two years ago. She already looked like she was carrying the weight of the world on her shoulder. She was trying to hide it behind huge walls but it was obvious to anyone who cared enough to really look at her. Back then she was one of the strongest people I ever met.

But this Santana was a whole new person. She looked scared. She looked like she was fed up. Of what I wasn't really sure but I knew she was on the verge of breaking down.

Even after two years I didn't know the whole story of what happened between her and Brittany. She was my best friend and I had enough faith in our friendship to know that Britt would come to me if she ever needed to talk about it.

Santana pinched the top of her nose as an attempt to keep the tears from falling but she failed. She shook her head as a tear run down her cheek. "Quinn, I really can't do this right now." She whispered to me as she tried to walk past me. I reached out to grab her wrist and stopped her from walking away from me.

"I'm not letting you walk away from me again, Santana." My voice was soft, but didn't really leave place for any kind of argument. She looked at me, her eyes searching mine. She let out a breath, nodded and walked away from the coffee shop and I followed her.

We walked in silence for a long time. I didn't know where we were going but it looked like Santana knew exactly where she wanted to go. From the corner of my eyes I took the time to look at her from up close. The bag under her eyes told me she wasn't getting much sleep these days. She was trying so hard to look strong but she wasn't fooling anyone.

Santana finally came to a stop. I looked up and noticed we were in a park and I could see some water in the distance. I think we were by the Hudson River. Had we really be walking that long? Santana walked to a bench and sat down. I looked at her watching the river in the distance as her fingers played with the bottom of her cup. She was nervous.

"Don't you have class?" I asked her as a sat down next to her, leaving enough distance between us.

She scoffed. It wasn't a mean scoff she sounded sad. "Yeah."

"You could have said something." I told her. I felt bad making her talk to me if she had a class she needed to be.

"Yeah well I didn't." Came the short response. I turned to look at her. Her eyes refused to meet mine and I didn't want to force her. I followed her gaze to the water a couple of feet away from us. "How is she?" The whispered question made my eyes snapped back to hers. She was looking at me like she had just done something wrong. Like she shouldn't be asking that.

I thought about it for a few seconds. "She's okay." Truth is, Brittany really was okay. Sure she had been better and some days were tougher than others but she was hanging in there.

Santana looked back at her hands and nodded but didn't say anything. "How are you?" I turned to look at her and saw that she was looking at me.

"I'm fine." I told her and offered a small smile.

"Good." She nodded again and looked back down once again. I looked at her. Her hair was longer, she looked older yet she had that little girl vibe. That woman was really a mystery.

"How are you?" I dared to ask her. She froze when she heard my question. Her mouth opened but she closed it just as fast, probably deciding that she didn't need to be a bitch.

"I've been better." Santana whispered to me. It was my turn to nod. I waited for her to say something else but nothing came out. I didn't force anything; at least she was talking to me.

"What happened?" I dared to ask her. I knew if she didn't want to answer that she wouldn't.

"Everything." Her voice broke and I looked at her to see a tear roll down her cheek once more. I put my hand on her knee and squeezed a bit just to let her know I was here for her.

"Everything so fucked up, Quinn. And I can't do anything about it. It's not fair." She scoffed at the end of the sentence. "Fuck what am I seven?"

"Life's not fair Santana." I tighten my hold on her knee to make her look at me. "But you being miserable is never gonna change that."

"I hurt her so bad, Quinn. I don't want to do it again." Santana whispered in a broken tone.

"Then don't." I said as soon as she finished talking. "You just have to talk to her." Santana looked at me liked she couldn't believe the words coming out of my mouth. Then her eyes got wide.

"What time is it?" She asked me as she stood up from the bench.

"2:15. Why?" I asked her.

"Shit, I have to go." She cursed and grabbed her bag from the bench.

No, no. We were finally getting somewhere. "Santana, you can't just-"I tried to hold her back.

"I need to go." She said more firmly that time and I found myself nodding. She started walking away from me and stopped. Santana turned around to face me to whisper a 'sorry' and she turned back and starting walking away from me at a fast pace.

"What the hell happened to her?" I asked myself out loud.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

**Santana's P.O.V**

I felt bad walking away from Quinn, I really did. It was just something I had to do. Being this close to her, to the small resemblance of a friendship we used to have made me realized I had missed her. I felt like I was close to a break down. Quinn didn't have to deal with that.

I didn't even notice how late it has gotten. We had been talking for a few hours yet it felt like a couple of minutes. It was so weird. That's how I knew I had to get away from her, at least from now. I had my little sister to go to, I couldn't go there if I was a wreck, and I knew that. I had to be strong for her.

Which is why I decided to ditch school for the day. I should have known it wasn't the best move to make and that it would worry people but at that time, I didn't even think about it twice. I had to do this. For me.

I walked around town for a little while. I had time to kill before I had to leave and decided to walk around town. I had to find a way to clear my head and make sense of everything that happened in the past few months.

I found myself yawning and realized how tired I was. I stopped for another coffee when I walked by a Starbucks. I knew I had to find a way to get a least a couple of hours of sleep. I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. I took it out and noticed I had a missed call from Holly and a new text from Sam. I glanced at the time and realized it was time for me to go. I locked my phone and put it back in my jeans pocket before getting out of the shop and making my way to the train station.

* * *

**Brittany's P.O.V**

"Hey, Q." I answered my phone. I was sitting at a table in a small restaurant a couple of streets from our apartment. It was a little tradition we had since we moved here.

"Hey, B. I'm sorry I'm late, I should be there in five." I heard her say in a rushed voice.

"Is everything okay?" I asked her. Quinn Fabray was never late. It was a known fact. The line went silent and I could have sworn she had stopped breathing. "Quinn?" Her lack of answer confirmed my suspicions. Something had happened.

"I'm walking in the restaurant, I'll be right there." I heard her say and before I could say anything else the line went dead.

I took my phone away from my ear and just held in front of me. I looked at it for a few seconds before letting out a scoff. The phone wasn't going to tell me anything.

The sound of a chair being pulled out brought me out of my thoughts and I looked up to see Quinn sitting down in front of me. She was flushed. She was avoiding eye contact. She was keeping something from me.

I waited for her to settle down before saying anything. Just as I was about to say something the waiter appeared out of nowhere. "Good evening ladies. Can I get you anything to drink?" He looked at Quinn and then at me and flashed me a smile.

Quinn seemed relieved to see him. "I'll have some water." He nodded to let her know her had heard her but his eyes never let mine. "I'll have the same." I said and turned my gaze to Quinn. The waiter stood there for a few seconds before turning around and leaving our table.

I watched him walk away for a few seconds before turning my attention to Quinn. Her gaze was fixed on her hands on her table.

"Quinn." That made her look up. She held my gaze a little bit before looking down once again. I was getting worried. "Quinn, what's going on?" I asked her in a whisper. Her hands on the table moved to her face and she let her elbows rest on the table, completely hiding her face from me.

I heard her let out a big sigh and she let her hands fall on the table. "I'm sorry I'm late." She said as her eyes locked with mine. I shook my head not really getting why she was telling me that. I opened my mouth something but she beat me to it. "I ran into Santana."

I probably looked stupid with my mouth still open. "Did you talk to her?" I asked Quinn after a little while of just looking at her.

"Yes. We talked for a little while, actually." Quinn admitted.

I appreciated her honesty. I knew Quinn would never lie to me. That she would never hurt me on purpose. I knew Quinn well enough to know there was a  
reason for her telling me this. But this was hurting me.

I didn't understand why all of this was happening to me. It took me forever to get over her and now I felt like all the air was stolen away from my lungs.

All of a sudden I lost my appetite and I felt sick.

Santana had been talking to Quinn.

Why wasn't she talking to me?


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N I'm getting depressed having to wait another three weeks for Glee. Here's an update!**

**Chapter 12  
Santana's P.O.V**

"You'll come back soon?" Angie asked me as she tightened her hold on me. She had grown so much since I last seen her.

"As soon as I can munchkin." I promised her as I pulled back from our hug. She had tears in her eyes. I stood up and put a hand on her shoulder. She wrapped her arms against my waist and hid her face in my hoodie, holding me closer to her. "You be good, okay?" I told her and I felt her nodding against me.

"Take better care of yourself, Santana." Abuela told me in a soft tone. I held smiled when I felt Angie nod against me once again.

"I'm doing my best." I looked up from my sister to look at my abuela silently telling her with my eyes what I could not say out loud because of Angie.

I had spent the weekend at my abuela's place. I had ignored all the texts and calls I have received in the last two days and finally decided it would be easier to just turn my phone off. I already knew what I would have to deal with when I got back to New York. It was still something I needed to do. Getting away from everything. It was getting hard to pretend I was trying to be strong for my sister because she needed to know I was doing okay despite of everything. If it was this hard for me, I couldn't even imagine how hard it must be for her. I was kind of grateful she was too young to realize the depth of everything.

"If you need anything…" Abuela never finished her sentence. I looked at her and nodded, I knew what she meant.

I looked back down at my sister. "I have to go back. I love you." I pulled her closer to me and I heard her let out a big sigh. She pulled back to look up at me. "I love you too." I smiled at her and she let me go. I walked up to my grandmother and placed a kiss of her cheek.

"Thank you." I whispered and she nodded at me, unshed tears in her eyes. I glanced at my sister one last time before turning around and walking away from my family.

I found an empty seat in the train and sat down letting out a breath of air I didn't even know I was holding. I was beyond tempted to get out of the train and just stay here but deep down I knew going back to New York was the right thing to do. I had to do this. For Angie.

I grabbed my bag and put in on my lap and took my phone out to turn it on again. Almost instantly it buzzed indicating me I had about a dozen of new texts and new voicemails. I read the texts. Most of them were from Sam but I had a few from Holly too. I didn't even bother to listen to the voicemails, figuring they were all from Sam anyway. I let my head fall on the headrest and thought about the talk I had with my grandmother.

_"I just don't get it." I said and looked up to my grandmother. Angie had just fallen asleep and I didn't want to wake her. "You keep her away from me for months!" I whispered harshly. I looked over at my abuela who had finally decided to sit down on a couch across from me. She looked down, breaking eye contact with me. "And suddenly you invite me over for a whole weekend. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate it, I really do." I let out a big sigh. "I guess I just don't understand what made you change your mind." I admitted in a whisper._

_"I got a phone call from one of your teacher a few months ago." I froze when I heard the words." She told me you weren't doing great." My grandmother stopped talking to look at my reaction. "She didn't say much, just what you have tried."_

_"And the logical conclusion was to keep me from my sister?" I asked her dumfounded._

_"I didn't know what else to do! With everything that happened I guess I was just scared Angie would lose her sister too." My grandmother admitted, looking down at her hands. I opened my mouth to say something but closed it when my brain registered what she had just told me._

_"I should have not done that. I'm sorry." My grandmother looked at me._

_"I get it." I really did. But it still hurt. I stood up from the couch and looked down at my grandmother. "I'm going to be." I told her and didn't wait for an answer before getting out of the living room._

I was still a little bit angry about the way my grandmother handled everything but I understood where she was coming from. I kept telling myself that she did it for Angie and somehow it made everything just a little bit more bearable.

My phone buzzed in my hand and I looked down to see I had an incoming call. It was Holly. I brushed my thumb across the phone and answered it. "Hey Holly."

_"Don't you Hey Holly me!"_ Came the reply. _"Where the hell are you?" _Holly asked me. I couldn't help but roll my eyes. She was way too worried for her own good.

"I'm on my way to New York." I answered her.

_"From where?!" _Holly asked me and I could tell from her tone that I really had worried her.

"I'll be there in like an hour. Can I come over, I kind of need to talk to you." I told her, completely ignoring the question she had just asked me.

"_Of course sweet cheeks_." Holly said, ignoring her own question. _"What do you want to talk about?" _She asked me.

I hold my breath for a second before finally deciding to tell her. "Brittany."

**A/N Reviews?**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N I have been asked by a few reviewers to make the chapters a little bit longer. There it is.**

**Chapter 13  
Santana's P.O.V**

Barely a second passed after I knocked on Holly's office door before she opened it and smiled softly at me. She let me in and I walked to the couch and sat down.

"What about Brittany?" Holly asked me, going straight to the point. I could tell she was surprised that she let that slipped up to her by the way her eyes got wide. She tried not to let it show but I still noticed.

"I, uh" Of course now I had a hard time finding the right words. "I don't know." I let my shoulders slumped. I couldn't help but wonder if I was really ready to do this. I have kept everything to myself for so long that letting someone in seemed a lot harder than I thought.

Holly seemed to notice. She made her way to me and smiled at me as she sat down right next to me on the couch. "When did you guys meet?" She asked me in a low voice. Like she was afraid I would break by her asking me questions. I was kind of relieved though. Somehow answering questions was a little bit easier that just randomly starting talking.

"When I moved to Lima." I answered her without missing a beat. "First day, actually." I found myself smiling a little bit at the memory. It was still so clear in my head even if I had tried for so long to not think about it. "I was with my sister and we went to a coffee shop. She was there with Quinn."

"Sam's Quinn?" Holly asked me. I knew she was just trying to understand everything.

I nodded. "We became friends."

"That's nice."

"Yeah." I got quiet for a few minutes, relieving the memory. "On my birthday Quinn decided we had to go out. So we did. "We ended up kissing. Me and Brittany." I admitted and looked up to find Holly smiling at me.

"The next morning I found out about my mom being sick." I told her and my voice cracked. I took a few deep breaths to control myself and Holly put her hand on my knee to calm me down. "Then I had to leave." I finished in a whisper.

"So you haven't seen her since junior year?" Holly asked me again.

"Not exactly." I confessed. "Everything happened so fast. I was a mess." I felt a tear running down my cheek and didn't even bother doing anything about it. "I took a plane and went back to Lima." I let the sentence hang on and finally decided to wipe the tears that had fallen.

"I remember her face. She was so happy to see me." I shook my head at the memory. "I told her she was better off without me. I didn't really tell her anything besides that and first thing I knew I was back on that plane." I was full on crying at that point and yet I still let the tears fall down.

"Santana." Holly whispered. "So I take she never knew about New York."

I shook my head once again. "I ignored her phone calls and texts. And Quinn's too. I thought I was doing the right thing. The mature thing. I was a mess." I confessed and Holly nodded at me once more.

"I can't stop thinking about her, Holly." I finally looked up from my hands to look at Holly. I could tell she was trying her best not to cry too. "Ever since she showed up, even if she slapped me. Her song. Her eyes." I knew I probably wasn't making much sense.

"Hey, it's okay." Holly whispered at me, trying to get me to calm down.

"I don't know what to do." I said getting aggravated. I hid my face in my hands and let my body shook from all the tears I had fought back for so long.

"Maybe you should just talk to her." Holly said carefully.

"I can't just talk to her. Why would she listen to me?" I asked Holly. It was a rhetorical question and I knew it.

"How about a song?" Holly pushed just a bit further.

"I am not doing open mic night!" I hissed.

"Remember the lyrics you wrote for my class?" Holly asked me. I wasn't sure what she was talking about and then it hit me. My eyes got wide. "That was for her, wasn't it?" Holly asked me again. I didn't even bother to say anything, she knew she was right. "I think it could actually work." Holly finished and she was nodding like she was telling herself she was right.

"I haven't even sung anything since high school." I tried to make a point but it was useless. Holly knew I was going to do it.

Deep down I knew it too.

* * *

"You're ready to do this?" Sam asked me.

I was a nervous wreck. Two weeks had passed since I had gotten back in New York. Holly made me write the music for my song and the band was ready to play it. I was having second thoughts.

"It's going to be okay." Sam tried to reassure me. It was not working. At all.

I knew Quinn had been asking about me. Sam told me. However he didn't want to get involved with any of it and I had gain a new respect for him. He was a bit upset about me leaving without telling him but when I told him everything he understood.

He even managed to get Quinn and Brittany to come to the bar that night. I wasn't too sure about how much Quinn knew but I was sure I really didn't want to know. As long as Brittany was here.

"I can't do this, Sam." I told him. "I just can't." He stopped smiling at my words and put down the guitar he was holding.

"You can do this, Santana. And you will." His words held a double meaning and I caught it. I had to do this. For me.

Holly came to us and we took that as our cue to get ready to go on stage. I let out a huge breath, grabbed my guitar and followed them on stage. I sat down on a stool and Sam did the same right next to me, guitar in hand as well.

I tried my best not to look at the crowd but I couldn't find myself. Soon enough my eyes found Quinn and Brittany. They were talking to each other and never noticed us on the stage. I kept my eyes on them as Holly starting talking into the mic.

"Good evening everyone!" The crowed clapped but Quinn and Brittany still didn't look up from their talk.

"Please give a warm welcome to Sam Evans and Santana Lopez." Holly yelled into the mic. That did it. I saw Brittany's eyes got wide and turn to meet mine. I tried to hold her gaze but I couldn't. I look at Sam on my right and he was smiling at me. I nodded at him and starting strumming my guitar soflty.

I started playing for about ten seconds and just as I was supposed to start singing I stopped playing. I looked at Sam and shook my head. "You can do this, I promise you." San whispered loud enough for me to hear.

I held is gaze for a few seconds and I could tell from the look in his eyes that he meant what he had just said.

I looked at the crowd again and saw Brittany whispering to Quinn. I let out another breath of air before playing my guitar again, keeping my eyes on what I was doing.

_"We've got to get better," I said, "It's all in your head."  
We could live through these letters or forget it all together  
See the months they don't matter it's the days I can't take  
When the hours move to minutes and I'm seconds away  
_  
The violins of the band joined me in the first chorus.

_Just ask the question come untie the knot  
Say you won't care, say you won't care  
Retrace the steps as if we forgot  
Say you won't care, say you won't care  
Try to avoid it but there's not a doubt  
And there's one thing I can do nothing about_

Sam joined me in the second verse. The new sound made me look at him and I saw that he was smiling at me. I knew all of the chords for the song. I had spent that much time practicing it. Still I couldn't find the strength to look at anything besides the guitar I was playing or Sam._When all that we need is just a reaction  
It's too much to ask for when there's no attraction anymore  
If chasing our dreams is just a distraction  
I want to remember when I know that I can't go back_

Sam joined me in the second chorus. I had never heard his voice sounding so low and powerful.

_Just ask the question come untie the knot  
Say you won't care, say you won't care  
Retrace the steps as if we forgot  
Say you won't care, say you won't care  
Try to avoid it (try to avoid it) but there's not a doubt  
There's one thing I can do nothing  
There's one thing I can do nothing  
There's one thing I can do nothing about._

The whole band starting playing at that time and I finally found it in me to look up. My eyes instantly met Brittany's and she was looking back at me with tears in her eyes. I took a deep breath because I knew how far I was about to push my voice but I never broke eye contact with her.

_Just ask the question (just ask the question) come untie the knot  
Say you won't care, say you won't care  
Retrace the steps (retrace the steps) as if we forgot  
Say you won't care, say you won't care  
Try to avoid it (try to avoid it) but there's not a doubt  
And there's one thing I can do nothing  
There's one thing I can do nothing  
There's one thing I can do nothing about._

The crowed got crazy. Even Quinn stood up to clap like crazy but Brittany stayed put. She was clapping, holding my gaze. She nodded really slowly at me and for the first time in a really long time I felt good about myself.

**Reviews?**


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N 4 DAYS UNTIL GLEE!**

**Chapter 14**

**Santana's P.O.V**

I was a bit overwhelmed by the reaction of the crowd. After everything that had happened I thought playing music and performing was a silly habit that I had to get over. I had forgotten how therapeutic music could be. Sam placed his hand at the small of my back, guiding me off stage.

He smiled his gigantic smile and pulled me into a tight hug. "That was awesome, Santana!" He said holding me close. I let my eyes close into his embrace and let out a huge breath of air I didn't even know I was holding.

He pulled back and put his hands on my shoulders keeping eye contact with me. "You never told me you could sing like that! And play the guitar that well!" He was way too excited for his own good. "We have to do this again!" Sam almost yelled.

"Would you calm the fuck down?!" I asked him. "It was just one song, doesn't mean I'll do it again." I said as I put his hands off me.

"Oh come on!" He whined. Yes, he actually whined. All of a sudden his eyes got wide and he just looked at me. Creeping me out.

"Why are you looking me like that?" I asked me as I hit his arm, trying to stop him from looking like that.

"Are you?" He stopped talking.

"Am I what?" I raised an eyebrow at him.

"Are you gonna talk to her?" He asked me. I knew by 'her' he meant Brittany. That much was obvious.

"Are you out of your fucking mind?" I asked him. There was no way in hell he could be serious.

"What?!" He shrieked. "That song was basically telling her you were ready to talk to her. "You can't just avoid her forever.

I knew he was right. I knew it. But I also knew I had a temper. I took a step forward him, getting into his face. "Mind your own business." I told him harshly as I poke him on the chest. I didn't even wait for his reaction as I turned around and walked away from him.

I decided I had done enough for the night and made my way towards the door. Just as I was about to push it a voice stopped me.

"That was awesome, Santana." I froze. My hand was on the door handle but I couldn't bring myself to push it. Slowly I turned around to be able to face Quinn. She had a small smile on her face and her hands were deep in her jeans pocket.

"Thanks." I was uncomfortable. For some reason I had a feeling I wouldn't like what Quinn was about to tell me.

"I'm sure this" She took one hand off her jeans to point at the stage behind her "was everything but easy for you." She stopped talking and I just looked at her waiting for her to continue.

"But if you really want to talk to Brittany you better be serious about it." She took a couple of steps towards me until she was a few inches from my face, much like I had just done with Sam.

"Because if you think I'm just going to sit back and watch you hurt her again you're sadly mistaken." She finished in a whisper. I blinked once. Then I blinked again. Was Quinn really threatening me?

Back in McKinley I would have laughed in her face. Yet she seemed so serious that I couldn't bring myself to do it. So I just looked at her and waited until she was done saying everything she had to say. "That being said, I'm not sure doing all that talking to her tonight is a good idea." She stopped, waiting for a reaction from me. I just nodded. She pulled a napkin out of her pocket and handed it over to me. "Call her whenever you like."

I blinked again. My brain had trouble processing everything that Quinn had just said. I walked a tiny step forward eventually leaving almost no place at all between us and got into her face as well. "Don't ever get into my face again, Quinn. It might have been years but I can still cut a bitch." I whispered harshly in her face before taking a step backwards, snatching the napkin from her hand and turning away from her. That time nothing stopped me from getting out of the bar.

I walked away from the bar in a rapid pace. To say I was pissed off would be an understatement. I understood where Quinn was coming from but by no means she had to get in my face like that. I knew if I ever wanted to talk to Brittany again I knew I would have to get by Quinn first and I was pretty sure I did not like that idea. At all.

After a few blocks I slowed down my pace and took a deep breath. I had to calm down. Only then did I realize I still had the napkin in my hand. I noticed a small park and walked into it deciding to sit down for a little while. I took my phone out of my pockets and created a new contact for Brittany's number. Being me I knew I would eventually lose the napkin if I didn't put the number in my phone. I just sat there looking at Brittany's phone number. I don't know how long I sat there, trying to decide if a text or a call was the better idea.

I stood up and placed my phone back in my pocket before walking away from the park. I knew it was getting late and I better get home soon. I had class in the morning after all.

About thirty minutes I got into my apartment and decided I'd take a shower in the morning. I was exhausted. I changed clothes before getting into bed. I checked my phone to make sure I still had an alarm set for tomorrow morning. I played with my phone for god knows how long before clicking on Brittany's number and decided to send a text. I typed, erased and put my phone away several times before growing a pair and finally send the damn text.

**Hi, it's Santana. I think we need to talk.**

I put my phone on my bedside table and let myself fall on the bed. I don't even know why I bothered. I knew I wasn't going to be able to sleep tonight.


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N Oh wow. This is long overdue. I'm sorry about the wait. Enjoy!**

**Chapter 15**

**Brittany's P.O.V**

Two weeks. That's how long it's been since I received a late text from Santana. I didn't text her back right away because I figured I probably should take some time to let everything settle. A few days later I texted her back, basically telling her to choose the time and place. Two weeks later and I still don't know if we'll ever get to talk.

I groaned as I sat down and let my head fall on the back of the couch. This was getting ridiculous. I knew where Santana went to school, I knew where she worked and I had her phone number. Yet, I couldn't bring myself to do anything about it. I knew Santana had to be the one making the first step.

"Everything okay, Britt?" Quinn asked me from the kitchen. I decided to ignore her and sank even further down the couch while closing my eyes. A few seconds later I felt the couch dip and I knew Quinn was sitting right next to me. "What's going on?" She asked me.

"It's been two weeks, Q." I said without opening my eyes. "Two weeks and still nothing. And I don't get it. It's so frustrating!" I snapped and got up, pacing in front of the couch.

Quinn was looking at me, her eyes following me back and forth and it took a little while before she actually said something. "I might be to blame for that." She whispered but I heard her loud and clear.

"You what?" I asked her.

"When I gave her your number, I might have said something I shouldn't have." She shook her head at her last words and I walked to her stopping when I was right in front of her.

"Don't mess with me, Quinn." I looked down at her.

"I told her that she better be serious about all of this! That I just wouldn't stand back and watch her hurt you all over again." Quinn stopped talking when she heard me gasp. Unbelievable! "I guess I was right considering she never texted you back." Quinn finished and I had to fight the urge to slap her.

"And why would you do that?!" I asked her. I was getting angry. And by the way Quinn's eyes got wide, she realized it too.

"I was just trying to protect you!" Quinn argued back.

"I can take care of myself." Quinn made a face when I said that but decided not to say anything. "Santana used to be your friend too, you know?" Once again Quinn kept quiet and it was starting to get to me.

"Britt, I just don't want you to get hurt again. We don't know what happened, but one thing is certain, Santana is not the same person she used to be." Quinn was right, but still she didn't need to go behind my back like that. I wasn't a child anymore. "You're doing so good, I can't just watch you get hurt all over again. I'm sorry, I just can't." Quinn finished in a whisper. She was a good friend. But the way she handle everything didn't sit right with me.

I walked towards the door, grabbing my coat on the way. "I'm going out!" I yelled over my shoulder and didn't wait for Quinn to say something before closing the door and walking down the stairs.

* * *

I decided to take a walk and tried to clear my head. I must have walked for a lot longer that I was supposed to because when I looked up I realized I was probably about an hour and a half away from my apartment. It was getting cold so I decided to stop for coffee. Starbucks was my new best friend and living in New York, I didn't have any trouble finding one.

I entered the store and took a deep breath, enjoying the smell of caffeine. Deciding I didn't really need coffee, I settled for a hot chocolate instead. I waited for my drink to be made and I glanced around me. My eyes got wide when I noticed big brown eyes staring right back at me.

The sound of a cup being placed on the counter forced me to break eye contact with Santana. I turned away from her to take my cup and when I looked at her once I could tell she never stopped watching me. She moved her head slowly, silently asking me to join her.

I felt my heart beat faster and faster in my chest. I walked to her slowly and when I was close enough to her table she mention the chair right in front her of. I sat down and put my cup on the table. I couldn't help but notice how tired she seemed to be, especially from this close. I figured it was probably best if I didn't say anything about it though.

"I meant to call you." After a few minutes of just looking at me without saying anything her voice made me jump. "I've just been busy."

I nodded. "It's okay." Then I remembered what Quinn had told me. "Did you not call me because of Quinn?" I blurted. By the way Santana's eyes widened I could tell her wasn't expecting that question.

Santana looked at me for a few seconds again without saying anything. It felt like she was studying me. "Quinn is not a scary person." She said and I couldn't help but nickered. She had a point. "But she had a point." Santana's gaze fell down to my cup. "I meant to call you. But I didn't because I didn't know what to say." She looked up at me and her eyes were the softest I ever seen them. "I still don't." She whispered.

"San-tana." I think I managed to catch myself just in time. I waited for her to look at me before saying anything. "You don't have to say anything you don't want to say." I assured her.

"You deserve answers Britt. I'm just not sure I can give them to you yet." Santana didn't seem to realize that she had just called me Britt and I couldn't fight the warm feeling that passed through me when she said my name like that.

"Can we just try something?" I asked Santana. She nodded at me, but didn't say anything. "Can we be friends again?"


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N Longer chapters…I'm trying.**

**Chapter 16**  
**Santana's P.O.V**

Three weeks. That's how long it's been since that coffee with Brittany. We were trying that whole 'being friends' thing. I wasn't quite sure how that was going just yet. We didn't see each other except that one time and we weren't really texting either. I knew I was the one who had to do something about it, but no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't bring myself to contact her. The whole situation was really getting to me and I found myself in a deeper bad mood than usual, snapping at pretty much everybody, including Sam and Holly.

I was so lost in my thoughts that paying attention to what was being said in front of me was the last thing on my mind. "Miss Lopez?" I heard my name being called and my head shot up. I turned my head from left to right, trying to figure out who had just talked to me.

"Yes?" I said, still not sure who that person was.

"I'd like a word after class." Holly whispered from behind me. Figures she would be standing from the only place I couldn't see her. I turned to look at her and just nodded to let her know I would be there.

The bell rang a few moments later and I didn't make a move to leave. I watched Sam grabbing his stuff and making his way out of the class turning only once to look at me. I followed him with my eyes until he was out of sight. I glanced down at my notes and frowned when I saw the blank page. How long was I out of it?

The sound of a door closing shut made me jump in my seat and I looked up to see Holly standing right next to the door. She looked at me for a few seconds before walking over to me and sitting on the table right in front of me.

"Santana, I'm-"

"If you say worried about me, I think I'm going hit something." I cut her off, already knowing where this was going. Holly's eyebrows shot up; clearly she wasn't expecting that reaction from me. She blinked a few times before letting herself fall down on the chair and sat down so we were on the same eye level.

"You're not paying attention in class." Holly started over again. "And I'm not just talking about mine." She said her eyes boring into mine. She took a few moments to let the words sink in. I knew she was trying to find her answers in my eyes. I couldn't find the strength to meet her gaze and I looked down on my blank page in front of me.

"What's going on?" She finally asked me.

I just sat there, looking from my hands to my lack of notes and I couldn't help wondering where the hell this was coming from. It was like Holly was able to read my mind because she didn't even wait for me to say anything before she continued.

"Your face barely has any colors, which makes me think you still have trouble sleeping. If you're sleeping at all." That made me look at her. "People are getting worried." I opened my mouth to say something but once again she spoke before me. "And I know you can take care of yourself. I know that." She stopped to look at me. "I just wish you'd talk about it. It doesn't have to be me. But you can't keep bottling everything inside, Santana."

"I'm doing fine." I said in a harsh whisper.

"If that's what you want to believe, then okay." Holly said crossing her arms in front of her before standing up and walking away from me.

"What do you want from me?!" I almost yelled, standing up.

"I want you to feel something else than pain and guilt!" Holly shot right back, her tone matching mine. I stood there mouth agape. This was the first time Holly had raise her voice at me. I was pretty sure I had never seen her angry.

"It hurts to feel anything else!" I was pretty sure I had yelled that louder than I have ever yelled. I took a second to look at the door to make sure it was still shut. Of course it was.

"Does this have anything to do with Brittany?" Holly asked me, her voice a lot calmer than a few seconds ago.

"What?!" I looked at her dumfounded. "What does that have to do with anything?" I asked, trying to keep my emotions in check.

"I might not know everything Santana. But I know this: Ever since you saw her, something changed inside of you. She changed something." Holly said, boring her eyes into mine. But I cut her off.

"You don't-" She cut me off too.

"You don't want to talk to me or Sam, fine. But talk to her." Holly stopped to look at me, letting her words sinking.

"What the hell am I supposed to say to her?" I asked Holly as I watched her walk to the door. She opened the door and stop to look at me.

"Just talk to her." She whispered. And just like that she walked out of her own classroom leaving me behind wondering what the hell she was trying to say.

* * *

I don't know how long I spent in there after Holly left. She was right. About everything. I knew that, she did too. Yet I couldn't bring myself to do anything about it. The whole situation was really getting to me and it was frustrating. I grabbed my books and walked out of the class bumping into a few students. I still had a few classes to attend to but I really didn't see the point of it. I walked down the halls a little bit faster as made my way towards the only place I knew I could breathe again.

I peeked into the little window on the door and sighed in relief when I saw the empty classroom. I walked in and closed the door right behind me. I didn't bother locking it; I was pretty sure it was one of those doors that locked as soon as they were closed.

I walked to the piano letting my fingers graze the black surface. I put my books on the bench and took a deep breath, enjoying the peace I always find in that room. I glanced around and saw an acoustic guitar leaning across a wall. I walked over to it and grabbed it. I strummed the chords a few times realizing it was already tuned.

I resumed strumming the chords without really thinking about it. After a few minutes I found myself smiling when I realized what song I was playing. I had always loved that song. No wonder why I was playing it now. I didn't even had to look at what I was doing I knew the song by heart. I finished the song and without even thinking about it I started playing it all over again.

_I took my love, I took it down_  
_Climbed a mountain and I turned around_  
_And I saw my reflection in the snow covered hills_  
_'Til the landslide brought it down_  
_Oh, mirror in the sky_  
_What is love?_  
_Can the child within my heart rise above?_  
_Can I sail through the changin' ocean tides?_  
_Can I handle the seasons of my life?_  
_I don't know_

"I've always loved that song."

The sudden voice made me froze in place. I was pretty sure I'd recognize that voice anywhere. I took a deep breath before turning around slowly. Sure enough Brittany was standing beside the door, only a few feet away from me. She had her hands deep inside her jeans pockets, somehow telling me she wasn't too sure of what she was doing here.

"Brittany.." I let out a breath of air. "What are you doing here?" I finally asked her.

Brittany looked down before looking up and her eyes locked with mine. I felt something tug at my heart as I watched her take two steps forward.

"I missed you."

**A/N Please let me know if that one was long enough :)**


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N I know, I know it's been forever, I'm so sorry but life happened. I have some free time so I'll try my best to update as much as I can in the next week. Please let me know what you think of the chapter and remember: this is a Brittana story, and they are endgame.**

**Chapter 17**

**Santana's P.O.V**

_A year ago_

_I still couldn't believe I was actually here. A year ago I left this place, leaving behind the people I had called my friends for the short time I spent in Lima. Being back here was bringing back feelings I wasn't sure I could ever deal with ever again. But I was here now and I had to do something I didn't want to do at all. But sometimes you just have to do things you don't want to. This was going to hurt, and not just her._

_I slowly made my way to the auditorium looking around as I move forward. This place hadn't change at all. Everything was still the same, except maybe the huge posters for the choir nationals. I knew I was late, but that was actually the whole point. I silently opened the door of the auditorium and closed it behind me, careful not to make much noise. I was here for a reason and one reason only._

_Glancing around quickly I realized there were a few seats available in the middle of the auditorium. Just as I was about to move forward there was a voice announcing the New Directions and I took a step back, deciding I would be better off just staying behind everyone and right next to the door._

_The lights went on and the first person I saw was her. She was standing right next to Mercedes and looked as beautiful as I remembered. Right behind them was a brunette I had never seen before. Taking a glance at the stage, I realized the other girls behind them were cheerios. I frowned a bit; some things definitely had changed in a year._

_The music began soon after and as soon the brunette began singing and I recognized the song instantly. The brunette sang the first verse and my eyes went wide as Brittany walked in front of the stage and sang the second verse. She was amazing._

_Just as Brittany took her place in the group as they were about to sing the chorus I felt a warmth I didn't feel in over a year. Her eyes locked with mine and even in the distance I could see she was fighting the urge to smile. As she turned away from the crowd I took that as my cue to go and quickly exited the auditorium. I took a deep breath as I closed the door behind me and slowly made my way to the choir room. The only place I knew she would find me._

* * *

_Was I really about to do this? I heard the door opened and the decision was made just by looking at her. She was looking back at me a small smile tugging at her lips. Brittany took a few steps towards me and I realized I needed to say this now, or I would never be able to._

_"Junior year I used to sit in this back row and secretly watch you." Brittany stopped walking only to smile at me. "I counted the number of times you smiled at me and I die on days that you didn't." Brittany smiled got just a little bit bigger and she started walking to me again._

_I sighed. "I miss this place so much. This is where I fell in love." Brittany stopped walking at those words. Her smile even fell a little. But I needed to do this, I needed to tell her. "This is where I could say things with music, when words just weren't enough."_

_Brittany nodded at that but she didn't make another step towards me. "And I need to tell you something that I don't know how to say."_

_ Brittany looked at me and just by the look in her eyes I could tell she knew what I was about to do. Her eyes suddenly filled with unshed tears and she shook her head, silently asking me not to do this. But I had to. I just had to._

_"I'm not coming back, Brittany." I heard myself say. Brittany's eyes got just a little bit wider and she took a tiny step backwards. "I'm leaving L.A and I'm asking you to not come with me." My voice cracked at the end and Brittany just looked at me dumfounded._

_"You, you're better off without me." I finished with a tone that didn't leave her the slightest chance to say anything back. I saw a tear roll down her cheek before she turned around and walked away from me, slamming the door behind her._

_"Fuck." I whispered as I brought my hands to my face. Had I really just done that?_

_"Santana?" I heard someone say. I looked up to see Puck standing in the door way. "What just happened? He pointed behind him and I knew he was talking about Brittany._

_I stood up from my chair in the back row and walked to him. I could tell from the look in his eyes that he was happy to see me but he was worried about what he'd just seen._

_"Take care of her." I asked him in a whisper when I walked past him._

_ I left and I never looked back._

"I missed you." Her words kept playing in my head over and over again.

"Brittany –"

"No, I need to say something and you need to listen." She said in a voice I had never heard before and I just looked at her because I couldn't find anything to say to her.

"You are the most mysterious person I have ever met. You don't talk much and you sure as hell don't trust anybody easily. And that's okay." She said, probably sensing that I was about to defend myself.

"I'm not stupid, Santana. I know things have happened. I know you're angry, you're sad and you're hurt. I know-"

"You don't know anything!" I almost shouted as I rose from my seat.

Brittany didn't even blink. She just took another step towards me. "I know you didn't mean a single thing you said in that choir room. She took another step forward and she was almost standing right in front of me.

"Brittany, don't." I warned her. Well I tried; I already knew she was looking right through me.

"But there is just one thing that I need_ you_ to know." She said in a whisper.

"I am not going anywhere."


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18  
Santana's P.O.V  
**_  
"I'm not going anywhere."_

That was a week ago. Classes were now over for the Christmas break and I was grateful for the few weeks off. Brittany and I had been texting a little bit since that day and things were okay between us. We were taking it slow. We were passed the akwardness of small talk and I was grateful for that. Neither one of us mentioned that day but her words were still playing in my mind.

"Santana!" I heard Sam's voice echoing in the hall leading to my bedroom. I groaned and tried under my comforter. Mental note: Steal Sam's key to my apartment.

I heard my bedroom door open and stopped all movements. A few seconds later I heard him snickered. "Do you really think I can't see you?" He asked me.

"Go away." I mumbled loud enough for him to hear.

"Sorry can't do." He said and I felt him sit on my bed. "We are going shopping!" He exclaimed.

That did it. "Oh hell no! I'm not going anywhere!" I whined. I was pretty sure Sam was the only one not getting the 'break' part in Christmas Break.

"Come on. We're picking up Quinn and Brittany in half an hour." I felt the bed dip again and looked up to see Sam running away from me. Pussy.

"I'm not going." I told him as I finally left my bed and walked into my living room. He was sitting on my couch playing with his phone.

"Why not?" He asked me as he looked up from his phone.

"Because it's gonna be weird." I mumbled and took a seat right beside him.

"You're the one making it weird." He said as a matter of fact. I looked at him only to find a smirk tugging on his huge lips. "Come on, get dressed. I'll buy you coffee." He told me. Like that could possibly make me change my mind.

* * *

I think I underestimated my love for coffee. Half an hour later I was sitting in the front seat of Sam's car sipping on my coffee and we were on our way to pick Quinn and Brittany up.

"I hate you." I told Sam without even looking at him. I rested my head against the cold window. I heard him chuckle before he mumbled something that sounded like I love you too.

A few minutes later he parked the car and opened his door to get out. I did the same and watched him walk away from the car. I leaned against the passenger door and took another sip of my now not so hot coffee.

It wasn't until he was near the building's entrance that Sam noticed I wasn't fallowing him. He turned around to look at me. "You're not coming?" He asked me.

"Stairs." I shrugged. Even from that distance I could still see him rolling his eyes. He shook his head and turned around and made his way into the building.

I reached inside my leather jacket to pull out my sunglasses. It was way too bright for me this morning and I wasn't even full awake yet.

I was full on yawning really un-lady like when I heard footsteps coming closer.

"Charming." Quinn was the first to greet me as they reached me.

"Bite me." I said without even looking at her.

"Still not a morning person I take it?" Brittany asked me and I looked at her. There was a tiny smirk tugging at her lips and she looked like she wasn't sure if her teasing was okay.

"Guess not." I smirked at her and that made her smile. I pushed myself away from the passenger door and took the two steps separating me from the back door. I opened it and gesture her to get in. "After you." Brittany whispered a small 'thanks' as she walked by me to get into the car. "Trouty, I need coffee." I didn't even bother looking at Sam when I said that and I head him chuckle.

* * *

"Not in the mood for shopping?" I heard Brittany asked from behind me. I was leaning against a wall waiting for Sam and Quinn and I didn't even hear her coming.

"Too early." I said as a matter of fact as I finished my fifth coffee since I got up. Or was it sixth? I still had trouble sleeping and I really felt like I was never fully awake hence all the coffee. I threw the empty cup in the trash right next to me as Brittany stood beside me and copied my position.

"So…" I looked at her. "We're throwing a little party for Christmas Break next Friday." Brittany told me while playing with her fingers. I could still read her body language pretty well. She was nervous.

"Do you wanna come?" She asked me just above a whisper.

"Sure." I told her and that made her smile. But then I realized she said next Friday. I was leaving next Tuesday to spend Christmas with Angie. "I'm sorry, I forgot I already have plans next week." I told her and Brittany's face fell.

"Oh." Disappointment was written all over her face. "Yeah, okay." She looked like she wanted to ask me what but didn't want to push it. "No problem." She said as she pushed herself off the wall. I reached out for her wrist and made her turn around to look at me.

"Britt." Her eyes flashed right up to mine. I still wasn't used to call her by her shortened name. "We'll talk when I get back, I promise." She looked at me and was searching for something in my eyes. After a few seconds she nodded.

"I promise."

**A/N I know it's been forever and I'm not really sure how I feel about this chapter. I guess I'm just posting this to see if people are still reading this. Next chapter will be all Brittanna.**


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